cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
