Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
