Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
