...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My penis needs a shock collar
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
