Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
