I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
