we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
