In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
