just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
