You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
