Got a toothbrush?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize