No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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