i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
