dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
