im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
