No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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