I don't remember. Are we still dating?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
