Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
