I don't think brook has ever known best
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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