Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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