She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
