is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
