Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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