Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
