So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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