whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
