I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
