fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
