you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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