I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
