so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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