well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize