Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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