her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
