So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
