i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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