Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Is her dick bigger than yours?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
