Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
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