I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
