bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
