Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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