It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
