Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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