Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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