Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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