Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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