Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
