Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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