careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
