Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
