great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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