She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
