As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize