i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
