Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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