i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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