i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
