I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
