What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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